There are no winners when a couple go to see a divorce lawyer and decide to break up. Divorce is a situation which has a profound impact on the lives of everyone involved. Most affected by divorce are children and it is imperative that parents take precautionary steps to ensure that their kids feel supported throughout this process.
This is not something that is easy, but as long as both spouses place the children’s welfare at the top of the priority list, they can certainly help to minimise the impact which this has on a child’s life. Here are some tips on how you can make sure that you are supporting your kids through a divorce.
Environment of Honesty
If you speak to any family lawyer, they will tell you that the issue which most children have is that they feel uncomfortable talking about their feelings, which means that they hold them inside. This is not positive because those feelings end up manifesting and coming out another way. The best you can do for your child is to create an environment whereby they feel comfortable talking to you about their feelings. Let them know that they can open up, share some truth with them, and hopefully they can do the same with you.
Keeping It Neutral
It is understandable why a parent may look to spoil their kids or to treat them differently whilst going through the divorce, but this may not be the best idea. The reality is that kids benefit most from their lives being as normal as possible, especially going through such an abnormal situation. Spoiling your kids and giving them more treats than normal may help short term but this is not sustainable at all and can have an impact. If you speak to any child custody lawyer they will tell you that children need as normal a life as possible, and that both parents should aim to achieve this.
Another important task which you and your spouse will have is to ensure that you keep your feelings for one another to yourself when the kids are around. The last thing that your kids need to hear is you badmouthing their parents. Simply because you and your spouse no longer see eye to eye, doesn’t mean that your kids have to think the same. If you and your spouse cannot be kind, at least be cordial when you are around the kids.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with considering family therapy for your kids, which can really help them explore their feelings and emotions during this difficult time. Divorce will already be tough on you, without having to think about the kids, so therapy can be a great tool which will allow professionals to speak with your children. This is not mandatory of course but it can help you to ensure that your kids handle the divorce in the most positive way possible.
Always ensure that you and your spouse are thinking about the well-being of your children through this incredibly challenging time. The last thing which you want is for your kids to have lasting damage following a divorce.